My Book

When Vengeance Meets Survival:

NINE-DOLLAR BILL

Lacy asked me if I would attend Jesse’s kindergarten graduation, and I said the first thing that entered my mind: “Kindergarten graduation? Hell no.” I’d never even heard the term before. I launched into a good-natured rant about it being one of those helicopter parent inventions where every child must always win and just getting up in the morning merits a standing ovation…

I envision Jesse’s kindergarten graduation like this: Junie, Murphy and I are standing at the back, sincerely applauding the teachers and kids, blameless in the whole charade, Murphy and I nudging each other with sarcastic commentary on the rest of the spectacle, as the tiny scholars proceed down the tiny aisle in their tiny caps and tiny gowns that cost $200 for the one-time gig.